I am someone who has to work really hard at a lot of things in life. I don't want this to sound like a pity party, just hang with me for a second. Things don't come naturally to me. Even softball, I love softball and it was a gift from God in my life. But I had to work hard to be decent at it. I wasn't a player who could show up and be great. I am creative, but not artistic. I can think of ideas but can't put them together.
I am athletic, but not a freak athlete. I put in hours to try and make success happen. ETC-- ETC---
This is something I have dealt with and struggled with for a long time.
BUT- I have finally found the thing that comes naturally to me.
It comes easy.
It makes my heart happy.
I feel comfortable and confident.
I feel like I've been doing it my whole life.
My first week of bell to bell (full time) teaching had been so easy and natural. My teacher trusts me in her room and I have already been rated proficient on all my standards with another two weeks at this placement. To have something like this in my life is so rewarding and encouraging and something I can see myself doing the rest of my life. I know it will get hard. and like any job I will have bad days. I will struggle and sure I will fail. Like today when I showed up for the writing lesson without the book I was supposed to read. But what is important is how I was flexible and adjusted to the mistake and was able to laugh it off and move forward. I love working with the kids. I love being in first grade. I love laughing with them and dancing with them and watching a child's face when they get a star or a stamp on their paper because they finally mastered a skill they have been working on for two weeks.
AND the most amazing thing about it all?
God knew this was it. My whole life, even before I was born. God knew that in August 2013 he was going to reveal this to me. He knew he was going to place me with a mentor teacher who was a Christian and would bless us with such meaningful talks. He knew that I was going to spend my weekends at a coffee shop planning and being completely content with that. He knew that I was going to be obsessed with the planning and preparation part of teaching. He gifted me with organization and I have been waiting to use it like this my whole life. He knew he was going to ease my heart and provide me so much joy.
And now he has shared this all with me and I know him more. Because I realize how much he knows my heart and cares for me and just ADORES ME.
He loves us like no one else will ever be able to.
He is good.