Monday, January 6, 2014

Time Capsule

Flashback to senior year of high school. To the time when Conrad was about to leave for college. The time where we couldn't see where life was going to take us. Where we were afraid of failure and terrified to leave what we knew and what was comfortable. To a time where we were excited about our new individual journeys, but so unsure of where we were going to be as a couple.

Then comes a friend who says, "Why not make him a time capsule?" and that right there is what I did.
The day Conrad left for college I gave him a time capsule that looked like this.

A box. Filled with our High School Memories. Made to be open on College Graduation Day. But here is the trick- Even if we weren't dating this box was meant to be opened together. In the note inside the box it says. No matter where we are at in life right now come get me. I don't care if we are with other people, use this box to bring us back together. 


Okay back to 2013. Conrad's graduation day. Where we dusted off the old time capsule and took a look inside!

^Who knew our love would be so much different than it was back then?

^We are engaged and have a puppy!

Inside we would find some very special things. Things that made us laugh and things that made us cry. 

To start it all off was a note. A note of journals I had kept through out the summer before college of how I was feeling.
Some of our favorite parts:
"I need you in my life and I hope when you are reading this after college you will realize that we we had (or hopefully still have) is something so special. I know we can grow to make this work. What we have is not a high school fling or a first love kind of thing. This is read Conrad Wilson Schottel and I never want you to doubt that what we have wasn't real. Because I love you more than anything. If we do leave come get me back because you make me a better person.
"We have been together for 2 years and 5 months! WOW we have almost been together for 1,000 days. That is super!"
"I am going to wrap this up by saying that Conrad, I love everything about you. You're so amazing. We will make it through college, and this box is for us to remember all the great times we have been through together so in case anything bad does happen we can rekindle our love. Everything we go through together is all for our future together. I love you forever and a day."

We then opened up some random fun memories from high school. (FYI I might have saved everything he touched, I can't help it- HE IS CUTE!)
^Conrad's doodles on the inside of my notebook.

^Prom tickets, notes from school, and CD's we made each other. That cute blue and green bag? He made it for me in art class. 

^Random love notes.

^Tons of pictures

^And some really great artistic work from Conrad.

This time capsule got tears and laughs and was something we will be able to cherish forever. The memories we have made are priceless.What we had was a love so raw. It is such a blessing to have our high school memories together and to look back and laugh on all the great times together. This time capsule made us realize how much our love has grown and matured since college and we are so excited for our next journey together-- MARRIAGE!

Friday, January 3, 2014

What's going to happen in 2014?

I have to admit. I am not quite a dreamer. It is something I really struggle with. I want to follow God's plan for me. What does his plan hold for me?- I just don't really know.
I think part of it is I am afraid to dream and fail or dream and it not come true.
In 7 days I am marrying a dreamer. He tells me a new dream he has all the time. And the first thoughts that pop into my head is how can that dream happen. What steps are we going to make to ensure that dream can succeed. What I want my first step to be is to go to God. The Man who knows our dreams and desires and places those in our hearts and know which ones we should pursue and which ones are stirring our hearts.

I kept seeing a lot of Facebook posts about the new year andwhat is going to happen in the new year and I hesitate making a status like that. What if those things don't happen? How do I know what is going to happen, I don't even know what tomorrow will bring. Why put that out there for the whole world to see, but more importantly why put that out there to fail? That's just part of my struggle with dreaming and failing.

But I do know one thing and I am always willing to share it.
I am going to follow our Lord fiercely and ferociously. Violent, I know.
But this isn't always a rainbows and butterfly type relationship I have with Our Father.
This is a relationship of spiritual warfare.
It's a relationship of trust when I can barely hang on.
Of thanks when I want to lay in bed and cry.
It's a relationship when I walk outside and the fresh air hits my face and I smile because I know it's Him.
It's a relationship where I am walking on the beach and look at the huge ocean and the tiny pieces of sand right next to each other and can't help but bask in the fact that he created all of this beauty.
It is an intentional relationship. Where I look for God's beauty and the way he is loving me at that time.
It is a relationship that is so fulfilling and sustaining I can't even wrap my head around it.

I am about to become a wife. and I want to become a Godly wife. A wife who makes mistakes, who laughs, and who loves. A wife who isn't afraid to dream, and listens to what God is putting on her heart. In order for this to happen I have to seek God with ALL of my heart. and I deeply desire to do so.

So what is going to happen in 2014?
I am going to listen to God.
Listen to the ways he is stirring my heart and let him take my on a wild journey.

Samantha soon to be Schottel ;)