What marriage has taught me.. PART 1

A good friend text me last night and asked, "What have you learned about marriage."
I laughed when I received this text, and wasn't even sure I knew where to begin.


The number one and BIGGEST thing I have realized is that the devil works in some mysterious ways. Let's just say, I knew this before, but had no idea the extremes of this statement until recently.
Let me share with you how Conrad and I have decided this.

It was Superbowl Sunday. We woke up, went to church, and went grocery shopping.

Conrad invited three friends over for the game. And the first thing that came into my mind was HOW AM I GOING TO FEED THESE PEOPLE. I have enjoyed being a little homemaker this past month. I love getting out my dishes and making dips and enjoying people in our HOME- but was experiencing some anxiety about pulling this off. I mean its SUPERBOWL SUNDAY! People have high expectations for that day. (This is me making stuff up in my head and causing stress)
We set down at the table to talk about the dips we wanted that day and I asked Conrad what he was going to be doing before our friends came over. He rambled off how he was going to do some work for FKS and get his schedule ready for next week.
I was mad- like you're going to invite friends over and not help me prepare food or clean the house? I felt alone. Like I had to figure all this out by myself. and then I thought- Hey he might want to help. Don't assume. So I asked, "Do you mind unloading the dishwasher?"
SO- he unloaded the dishwasher all while thinking, "Is she serious? My to-do list is up to my neck. She's not grateful, and has no respect for my time or my need." LITERALLY- these words just came from him, I can't make this stuff up people.
Then he says, "I'm going to pray."
I could tell he was frustrated so he went to pray and I cried. Typical girl here. I had no idea what I did wrong, considering I was trying to not assume and seek his help. I mean I even said thank you.
I had no idea his feelings and he had no idea what was going through my mind.

To end this whole ordeal- We both had to separate. Figure out what was really going on. Seek the Lord. Then come together and communicate.
The enemy was putting his spin on our emotions and feelings. I don't really think Conrad is not helpful and he doesn't think I'm not grateful. But the devil was trying to convince us of these things. He was trying to sneak into our minds. This wasn't a blatant attack, but it could have gotten out of control without serious prayer and communication.


So the moral of the story is- The devil is sneaky and sly. Being aware of him and his attacks, no matter how 'small' they are is key to protecting our marriage. We need to focus on spending time with God, and communicating with each other regularly.

Lesson 1 down. Many more to come, I'm sure.

Post Wedding Post

WOW.
I don't even know where to begin. This past month has been completely insane in the best way possible.

The wedding was fabulous. I could talk about it forever. I have never had that much fun in my life.
We stayed at the most fabulous bed and breakfast in Liberty, MO and I would recommend it to ANYONE! We had two relaxing nights there before we headed to PUERTO VALLARTA!

Our honeymoon was fantastic.
We stayed at all all-inclusive resort and drank the best fruity drinks we could imagine. Conrad hasn't stopped talking about the Coco Rosa- a pink drink- since. ;)

We are now- FINALLY- settled in.
Our first home together in Kirksville, MO and it is going great!
We are both personal training. I have just turned in my first application for my first real teaching job!
I am excited to continue helping Conrad run this business and see where things go. God's plan is so so good!

We would appreciate the prayers for our new marriage as we learn something new everyday.

 

Time Capsule

Flashback to senior year of high school. To the time when Conrad was about to leave for college. The time where we couldn't see where life was going to take us. Where we were afraid of failure and terrified to leave what we knew and what was comfortable. To a time where we were excited about our new individual journeys, but so unsure of where we were going to be as a couple.

Then comes a friend who says, "Why not make him a time capsule?" and that right there is what I did.
The day Conrad left for college I gave him a time capsule that looked like this.

A box. Filled with our High School Memories. Made to be open on College Graduation Day. But here is the trick- Even if we weren't dating this box was meant to be opened together. In the note inside the box it says. No matter where we are at in life right now come get me. I don't care if we are with other people, use this box to bring us back together. 

SEE THE THING IS I KNEW WE HAD SOMETHING SPECIAL. (even in 2009)

Okay back to 2013. Conrad's graduation day. Where we dusted off the old time capsule and took a look inside!

^Who knew our love would be so much different than it was back then?

^We are engaged and have a puppy!

Inside we would find some very special things. Things that made us laugh and things that made us cry. 

To start it all off was a note. A note of journals I had kept through out the summer before college of how I was feeling.

Some of our favorite parts:

"I need you in my life and I hope when you are reading this after college you will realize that we we had (or hopefully still have) is something so special. I know we can grow to make this work. What we have is not a high school fling or a first love kind of thing. This is read Conrad Wilson Schottel and I never want you to doubt that what we have wasn't real. Because I love you more than anything. If we do leave come get me back because you make me a better person.

"We have been together for 2 years and 5 months! WOW we have almost been together for 1,000 days. That is super!"

"I am going to wrap this up by saying that Conrad, I love everything about you. You're so amazing. We will make it through college, and this box is for us to remember all the great times we have been through together so in case anything bad does happen we can rekindle our love. Everything we go through together is all for our future together. I love you forever and a day."

We then opened up some random fun memories from high school. (FYI I might have saved everything he touched, I can't help it- HE IS CUTE!)

^Conrad's doodles on the inside of my notebook.

^Prom tickets, notes from school, and CD's we made each other. That cute blue and green bag? He made it for me in art class. 

^Random love notes.

^Tons of pictures

^And some really great artistic work from Conrad.

This time capsule got tears and laughs and was something we will be able to cherish forever. The memories we have made are priceless.What we had was a love so raw. It is such a blessing to have our high school memories together and to look back and laugh on all the great times together. This time capsule made us realize how much our love has grown and matured since college and we are so excited for our next journey together-- MARRIAGE!

What's going to happen in 2014?

I have to admit. I am not quite a dreamer. It is something I really struggle with. I want to follow God's plan for me. What does his plan hold for me?- I just don't really know.
I think part of it is I am afraid to dream and fail or dream and it not come true.
In 7 days I am marrying a dreamer. He tells me a new dream he has all the time. And the first thoughts that pop into my head is how can that dream happen. What steps are we going to make to ensure that dream can succeed. What I want my first step to be is to go to God. The Man who knows our dreams and desires and places those in our hearts and know which ones we should pursue and which ones are stirring our hearts.

I kept seeing a lot of Facebook posts about the new year andwhat is going to happen in the new year and I hesitate making a status like that. What if those things don't happen? How do I know what is going to happen, I don't even know what tomorrow will bring. Why put that out there for the whole world to see, but more importantly why put that out there to fail? That's just part of my struggle with dreaming and failing.

But I do know one thing and I am always willing to share it.
I am going to follow our Lord fiercely and ferociously. Violent, I know.
But this isn't always a rainbows and butterfly type relationship I have with Our Father.
This is a relationship of spiritual warfare.
It's a relationship of trust when I can barely hang on.
Of thanks when I want to lay in bed and cry.
It's a relationship when I walk outside and the fresh air hits my face and I smile because I know it's Him.
It's a relationship where I am walking on the beach and look at the huge ocean and the tiny pieces of sand right next to each other and can't help but bask in the fact that he created all of this beauty.
It is an intentional relationship. Where I look for God's beauty and the way he is loving me at that time.
It is a relationship that is so fulfilling and sustaining I can't even wrap my head around it.

I am about to become a wife. and I want to become a Godly wife. A wife who makes mistakes, who laughs, and who loves. A wife who isn't afraid to dream, and listens to what God is putting on her heart. In order for this to happen I have to seek God with ALL of my heart. and I deeply desire to do so.

So what is going to happen in 2014?
I am going to listen to God.
Listen to the ways he is stirring my heart and let him take my on a wild journey.


Samantha soon to be Schottel ;)

Leaving a special place

4 and a half years ago I headed up to Des Moines, Iowa. I was ready to embark on a new adventure, and it's safe to say it was just that, a wonderful adventure. Now flash forward 4.5 years and I am back in Missouri- the place where I grew up, the place where my family lives, and the place where I fell in love. Missouri will always be a special place to me, but what I didn't realize was that Iowa had become such an important part of my journey. I took the time on my drive back to really think about how my life has changed since I had moved to Iowa 4.5 years ago and the list could go on and on. 

For starters, Iowa is the place where I fell into the biggest romance of my life. Life was hard and I knew there was more than what I could see, and venturing into a dark theatre I met people who had this insane JOY about them, because they knew Jesus. They loved Him and lived for Him and always wanted more. I am so so thankful I stumbled in that theatre alone one night because my life will never be the same. I fell in love with Jesus, my Father who will never leave me. He is a loving God who loves us, not for what we do, but for who we are. We can never earn His love, but He gives it freely to us. What a joy that college is where I came to know Him at such a deep level. 

Iowa is also where I finished my softball career and met some of the best friends I could have ever imagined. I cried as I hugged my friends, even knowing I would see them soon, I knew big changes were ahead. It is where I began my teaching education and gained the knowledge and confidence to become an amazing teacher. It's a place that will always hold a special place in my heart. 

So with Iowa in my rear view mirror and sweet memories tucked into my heart I am ready for this new journey that awaits. 

Samantha 

To my love

Snippets of my letter to my love on his senior day.

Conrad,

                My love. I have sat down to write you this note too many times. I struggle even finding the words to start. Tomorrow is your senior day. Your last game on your home field and with just a few short games remaining your football career will end. I know the mixed emotions surrounding you right now, as I have just been through this a few months ago, but not only that. It is because we are one. I share your emotions. I know how you are feeling before you can even tell me. I share your pain and I share your joy. My heart is a part of yours, and always will be.  Let’s do some reminiscing, shall we?

I am so thankful for our high school football seasons together. Seems like forever ago, but I will never forget it. I proudly stood in those stands cheering you on, not even realizing the impact football would have on our relationship. I will never forget the game day gifts I gave you and the joy I felt seeing how much you appreciated me. I knew you were something special. I will never forget you wearing your jersey to school on Friday and having the honor of wearing a t-shirt with your name on the back on game days. I will never forget you winking at me on the sidelines and catching my eye after a touchdown pass. I will never forget waiting for you after the games at the Buick. High school football memories are memories we both will cherish the rest of our lives. We will tell stories to our children about how Friday nights under the lights were perfect and our lives revolved around them.

Going out of high school we both were looking at empty pages, with no clue where life was going to take us.  The recruiting process was a tough one, knowing our odds of going to the same school were so slim, but knowing how important it was that we both follow our dreams of playing college athletics. I remember when I decided to commit to Drake University and I remember when you committed to Truman. I will never forget the day you left for your first college football camp, and collapsing on my driveway watching you drive away. The uncertainty of what was ahead was brutal, but I am so thankful for those times. We have gotten the chance to take our own paths and find out who we are, but still remain one. I know God had his hand on this the whole time.

College football has been such a journey. I know how hard it has been Conrad Wilson. I am so glad I have been here through the whole thing, and I want you to know every ounce of pain you have felt I have felt too. BUT through all that adversity you spread the love of Jesus. You learned to forgive. You learned to love others when it was hard. You learned that your role on the team may not be to throw touchdowns, but something way bigger than that. You grew as a Godly man that year, through trial after trial.

This year- you have become yourself on that field once again. The Conrad I knew from high school. The quarterback with extreme confidence oozing out of him. The player that gets so pumped up when a teammate does something great he can’t even contain himself. The man who throws touchdowns and sprints down that field beating his chest. The guy who plays recklessly and with a fierce passion. You have played for Jesus. He restored you on that field and you have glorified him. You know it is not about playing time, or touchdowns, or recognition. You know these things do not define you, but what does is that whatever you are doing that you GLORIFY HIM. Conrad you have done that and I am extremely proud. I love that man you have become on that field and in life. God has used football to make you a better man.

Conrad Schottel, I have never met a better leader than you. Leadership is something God has gifted you with, and football has made you an even better leader.  I have been blessed to watch you play football for 7 years and watch you lead so many brothers on and off the field and I am so proud of you. Seeing you lead on that field has given me confidence that you will be an amazing husband. I know you will lead our family so well. I know you will do whatever you need to do for our family. Football has been a way for you to show your leadership skills, and now with that ending I am so geeked (stole your word) for God to continuously show you other ways to lead. You are an amazing football player, but an even better man.

I will forever miss you winking at me on the sidelines, watching you pound your chest running down the field after a long touchdown pass, the hours of football talk, and being wrapped up in those sweaty hugs post game. I hope these are a part of my heaven, because they bring me so much joy. I might be (okay I am) crying right now thinking of football ending. It has been and will forever be a part of our relationship. I can’t wait to share these memories with our children. But even more than that I can’t wait for the joy that Heaven will bring with you (you get to play football without knee pain!).

I love you my big 14 and can’t wait to see you at the altar so soon. 

  

November scramble

With college winding down and the real world knocking on my door it's safe to say I have a lot on my mind. 

In five short weeks I am done student teaching. It has been such a blessing in my life and has provided me a lot of guidance on where I need to be- in the classroom. With that being said I am so ready to be done because of all the exciting things in the next few months  I am so glad I get to spend the next 5 weeks with 3 year olds singing and dancing and with some amazing professionals guiding me. I am going to use the remaining weeks to be a sponge and soak in all the knowledge I can in the remaining weeks. 

The wedding plans are looking mighty fine. Only 69 more days until we tie the knot and we are so excited. I dream about it like 5 times a week and it's constantly on my mind. Invitations will be in the mail this week, honeymoon is booked, I pick up my dress from alterations at the end of November, rehearsal dinner is planned, and ceremony details are being finalized. WE ARE SO PUMPED. 

I am moving away from Des Moines where I have spent the past 4.5 years. It is a weird thing, and it's not so much the town I will miss but the people. I will always be thankful for the greatest friends I have met in this beautiful city and excited to see where the new chapter takes these friendships.  

THINHS HAPPENING IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS:

Conrad's senior game

Moving from Des Moines

Finishing student teaching

Graduation

Chicago visit

Mexico

WEDDDINGGGG

Honeymoon 

Moving!

WOW. There are so many fun things coming up and I can't wait to talk about all of them on here.